the inevitable single’s question

I recently had a friend of mine ask me why she couldn’t find someone that would be hers forever. Hmmmm. Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know why so many of my friends have had such a hard time with love. Some date lots of guys, some don’t date at all but the result is the same. Alone on birthdays and break-ups that end in confusion and empty ice cream buckets.

I can tell you this. For some reason, we all have areas where we have difficulty just “going with the flow”. For me, it’s been a professional struggle, since day 1 I have never found a job that completes me. This particular friend that asked me about love, has been extremely comfortable with her professional and parks all her anxiety in relationships and love.

For one thing, love has a little magic to it. You can really like someone and bond with someone but there simply are some things in life that you don’t have control over. This is hard and frustrating to accept.

In addition to that, there is the inevitable, you can’t have it all and sometimes the obstacles that we face at this age … the roaring 20s, are the obstacles that are meant to shape us and strengthen for later in life. If you found out you were going to meet someone in 6 months or 2 years, what would you change? Whatever you thought of… focus on now. You never know when they are coming, so you should be focusing on self improvement and self love regardless. It will make you happier and … let’s face it, happy people are more attractive. I mean, did you ever fall for the gloomy guy in the back because I never did.

Last thing… It’s not about self-worth. This is the one we usually bite on which makes the “why haven’t I found someone” question a little more haunting. It’s not you and even if it is a little because you are a spoiled brat… it isn’t entirely it. We all have our own timing and chances come at different times. We just have to fall in love with our story.. because it’s the only one you got. And when you’re 80 and it’s been 50 years of marriage, you’ll really enjoy telling that story over and over again.

I can share some basic advice with you regarding the opposite sex though but I can’t promise it’s nothing your mom didn’t tell you before.

1. Be happy with yourself.

2. Be happy with the people around you.

3. Laugh alot.

4. Get outside your comfort area. You never know who you are going to be meet and when. A friend of mine’s parents met at a party she didn’t want to go to.  You never know. So always wear a smile and blush.

5. Let go. Trust that the universe will bring it all to you, just as you imagine it.

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About Antonella Saravia

Antonella is a freelance writer. Graduated from Purdue University, Antonella is based out of New York City and Nicaragua, where she was raised. Follow her via Twitter @tonesaravia & Instagram via @tsaravia.

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