This is a special post for the tender hearted girls that have been waiting for a call, a letter, or anything special from the one that you hold dear. It’s a pain I know too well and would like to offer some words now that my ordeal has passed.
You want him to call. You want him to call so badly that you are ready to pick up the phone and find out why he was too busy to do it himself. You’re ready. You reason with yourself. You pick up the phone.
It’s not the call that kills you. He may even want to hear your voice this very moment but sometimes, when we do this, we take control of things that should be left to the universe. We cannot direct the show. It has always been very difficult for me to back down when I want something. However, coming out of a relationship, enough time has passed for me to understand a number of the mistakes I was making.
One of them being the push. The desire to want to feel safe and to calm my ego bulldozed where acceptance should have sit. I should have waited to see how long that call took. I should have allowed the nature of things to come out. Will he call? Maybe… but if he didn’t, I would have seen it instead of hiding behind my call.
I was afraid to see the truth. Don’t be. Whether the response is good or bad, whether it can be worked on or not, it is the truth and there will never be anything easier to digest than that.
So tender hearts, if he hasn’t called; he will or he won’t. Either way, allow it to happen. Allow others to show, to speak, without your push. We’re usually all speaking … even when we aren’t saying anything.
Be free of your control. It is not up to you to be the man of your dreams. It’s up to him. So wear this badge proudly and remember, you are learning to let go. Learn to be free of your expectations and see what comes. Who knows, he may even surprise you.