when things are not what they seem

It’s become quite clear to me that our sneaky minds work very hard to trick us. I say this because the minute we feel like we have outgrown a certain fear or insecurity, it seems to find a way to pop up in a different dress. It becomes unrecognizable and the confusion kicks in. I spoke to a friend this afternoon about her performance anxiety at work and it really got me thinking about how often this happens to us. She thought her insecurities had gotten better and when faced with a difficult task at work, she blanked. Convinced that she was no longer stressing, she just assumed she was  simply incapable of completing the assignment. But alas, her sneaky mind has just changed it up. As an outsider, I was able to see what was happening, the insecurity was still there, my friend just assumed that it was gone and there was another explanation for it. This is where the self doubt sneaks up on you. The invisible train has hit you, my friend.

Photographed by A.Saravia

It happens to me over and over. It’s frustrating, I know. A simple example: you think you’ve outgrown the yearning to be accepted and then, suddenly a new set of “cool kids” comes in and brings those feelings up again. All I can tell you is that in my experience that’s just the way life goes and we have to deal with gracefully. The first thing you gotta do is be understanding of yourself. The more you know yourself, the easier this will be to spot and figure out. Remember, you might always get nervous when there is a challenge, know that and use that adrenaline to your advantage.

At work, when I am faced with a new and scary task, I still get very anxious. It always surprises me because I have grown  to feel very comfortable in my current role. At first, this used to throw me off. It would give me the sensation that this “new task” was “different” from all the others. My mind would scramble. One time, the assignment was time sensitive so I was forced to figure things out before the anxiety had faded. The task was no different from any other and in this case, it turned out that the anxiety lasted longer than the actual exercise did. That’s when I realized my dirty mind was playing tricks on me.

Moving forward, focus. Whether it’s a diet, a social situation, work, or school… you’ve overcome this before. Your mind is just trying to take you back to a place where these kinds of fears had power, don’t let it because you’re not where you used to be. Always remember that. 😉

Love, bleu



About Antonella Saravia

Antonella is a freelance writer. Graduated from Purdue University, Antonella is based out of New York City and Nicaragua, where she was raised. Follow her via Twitter @tonesaravia & Instagram via @tsaravia.

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