A friend of mine got called out the other day by her mother. Something that she was doing had required a bit of a conversation between the two. My friend wrote to me as the anxiety began to kick in.
In 2011, I experienced a great deal of anxiety of my own in situations like this; mostly at work and especially after being called out on something important. I think the fear lies in it seeming like the behavior being criticized is a moving train with no breaks. It usually felt like one of those arcade games where things are falling from the sky and you’re on level 3948574. How will I stop? I can’t stop, I didn’t even know I was doing it. I’m screwed! I’m a mess. How could I not see it? Am I that clueless?
However, the reality is that we know how to stop. The reality is that you have a good head on your shoulders. We need to learn to process feedback without immediately jumping into a fearful state. Once called out, some situations can be rectified immediately, others require a process of learning how to change the core habit.
Criticism is scary, especially when it catches us off guard but you’re still growing mentally and emotionally when this happens. You didn’t worry about change when you were a kid. You knew you were capable of it because as a kid learning is implied. It’s what you’re supposed to be doing day in and day out.
So guess what kiddo, it’s not over and you have to keep viewing things in the same light. Remember what it felt like to expect learning and growing in your day. We are far from done, my friends.