I woke up a tad hungover last Sunday and decided to stay in bed as long as possible. I thought that streaming a movie would help make it special so I started rummaging through my Netflix Queue for a good one. On my home page, Netflix claimed a string of 10 movies that were sure bets for me. “Heaven Can Wait” was among the highest rated so I clicked on it and called it a day. As the movie started I realized that I was casually crossing off another thing to do from my list.
I was watching a classic. This may seem like a dumb thing to put on a list but its always been something that I’ve put off.
Now I see that I had an emotional boundary to push here. It’s clear to me that this is a reoccurring theme on my list. I have selected very simple things to do but all are things that I would have preferred to share with someone else. None are things that you romanticize about doing alone.
I want to be the girl that enjoys classics with or without you. I want to be the things that I am regardless of whose sitting next to me. I know this may sound like a simple hurdle to many of you that already got this down but it’s not something I’ve completely mastered yet. I have to stop always wanting to put things off for other people. I am the only person responsible for my wants. It’s important that I take the job seriously. I have unconsciously set myself up for one very important lesson this year… I am forcing myself to learn to distinguish what adventures should be shared and which I need to be able to do and enjoy on my own. My list is about boundaries. It’s about breaking the old ones and revising them from the new me. Who knew that I was creating such a masterpiece? I guess I’ve picked up a few things already!
In addition to the learnings above, I’m delighted to report that the movie was great. I can’t believe I had held out on seeing it this long. Though I’m glad that Sunday was the day for it. It fit like a glove!
More to come!