This post goes out to a dear friend coming out of a very difficult situation. Actually, she may still be knee deep it in but that’s closer to coming out of it than when it starts.
I have experienced many forms of infatuation and love. I think it’s safe to say we all have. For me, very few of these have been pure and meaningful, as it truly is difficult to be genuine with just anyone. More importantly, it’s sometimes difficult to even know how to be genuine at all. The purest form of love stems from knowing who you are and showing it to someone else. Love is the conscious offering of that and it’s hard to know what love is if you don’t know who you are. After coming out of a difficult relationship, it’s very easy to focus on the mistakes of the past and the thrills of the future. It takes the mind off the confusion and sadness that lie in the present, but the present is where you (your heart) are and that’s where your head should be at, as well.
Dear friend, your main focus should be to know yourself. The details of who you were then and where you are going tomorrow are secondary to who you are at this very moment.
Do an exercise today. Grab a notebook and write down everything you feel about 5 subjects. Pick any subjects. You can start with the basics (love, life, religion, etc.) and slowly move to asking the bigger questions.
Allow yourself to unravel on paper. I guarantee it will be unclear, selfish, and resentful, but that is a great start. You will have shed the first layer of the self that you wear everyday. It’s too often that we decide who we are, preventing the truth from being enjoyed or even acknowledged. No matter how hard the fight you fight, who you are and what you feel manages to come out, regardless, and tends to create confusion. It’s a little like fighting your shadow.
Give it a try. Just this once. Pencil up, guard down.