As you know, I have been soul-searching. This is a follow-up to last week’s post reviewing my morning ritual. I know a friend who is eager to start breaking free of her old ways, so I decided to put together this list of steps that I’ve taken. Please keep in mind this is my list. This is my special list- it may not be yours, but I hope that you get what it started. I hope you itch to tweak it.
I hope you see past what I’ve written and open a way so that twitch inside of you can say, “Let’s replace that with this. I need this.”
If that happens, a sparkler just went off, like the kind that Jack Kerouac wrote about. Can you hear the cracking?
Aahhh, the madness. It’s begun.
It’s time that you create an account and figure out what it is that makes your heart flutter. Boy or girl, creative or not, do it. There will be things you love that you won’t want to post. My dear, those are the very ones you need to pin. Those are the ones you are trying to hide. Let’s stop that now, mmmk? If you feel shame pinning things, God only knows how much you’re comfortable hiding on every other level.
Also, DO NOT post mainstream “likes” that you don’t love. Come on, if you can’t be yourself behind a screen, where are you going to be it?
You need to start writing or meditating. Scribbling works too. You need to start figuring out how things make you feel. I’ve come to realize that we rarely understand the impact that certain things/moments have on us. We watch a movie and we don’t think about what bothered us, where we identified, or where we felt anxious. I used to avoid these kinds of things altogether. Now, I’m trying to figure out the why. It’s not an every day task, but there has to be an effort to try it. We need to get a little lost to find ourselves.
There’s a story to tell. As boring as you think it is, you have to tell it. Slowly, walk through the last years of your life. I broke mine up into phases. I’ve pulled out insights and losses from each one. Creating a timeline allowed me to narrow down where I was then and where I wanted to be in the next six months. It’s more of an emotional plan than anything else.
I used to feel anxious about controlling my actions until I began to understand that I had to spend more time with my thoughts. Not the fears at the front door but the reasons behind it. I started writing about being a writer. What made me scared to want it and what made me happy about it. Untangling the thoughts changed my approach. I became more eager to learn, less scared to ask. Somewhere along the road my actions followed and here I am.
3. Priority Fix: Do things for yourself that you would usually do for others.
I was in a department store not too long ago and I was D-Y-I-N-G for an amazing one-piece that was a little overpriced. I was about to put it back when I had a thought: if this were a gift, I would buy it. Does that make any sense? No, it doesn’t! I walked right up to the cash register and purchased it. No flinch.
I’m not going to lie, I pamper myself in other ways, but for some reason, I had excluded myself from things that I considered romantic or sweet. Think about where you cut yourself off. There is always one thing you’re willing to do for someone else that you aren’t doing for yourself. Find it. Stop waiting for other people to feel that need. Learn how to do it yourself. You are the only person who will be with you forever. It’s time you started being your special person.
4. Make a List:
Once you figure out where you are and where you want to go, you’ll start thinking of things that you’ve been avoiding, things you’ve always wanted to do, and things you’d never try. Write it all down. The more you surprise yourself, the more you will come to understand that you are not what/who you think you are. You have an image in your head. You’re not this fixed point, you actually never were. I know having an image in your head is safe, but it’s also boring. You are always changing, whether you choose to fight it or embrace it. You need to pull out that old cassette you play in your head. If you don’t think you’re social, go out. Figure out a way to do things with people. Invite one person out once a week. Even if you’re bored, you’ll start figuring something new out. If you think you can lose weight, figure out a way. Educate yourself, try something that scares you… just do it. There is a way. You have a way to get there. Find yourself and you’ll find your way. Scouts honor.
How long have you been sitting there, all safe and sound? Okay, and how long have you been happy there?
It’s time. Get up.