I hate to discuss the same night twice in a row, but this post goes back to Tuesday evening. It happened while I was walking around with Stanford Curl. What can I say? It was a long walk. It was dark, it was late, but as a New Yorker, I know it could have been later. We found ourselves talking about her leaving NY. I’ve been thinking a lot about New York and how the city changes when someone leaves.
If you’ve lived here, you know one thing to be true: when you leave, the city keeps going on without you. You have changed the city by being here & it has changed you, but after your cab crosses the bridge that very change will continue for the both of you. Your old crowd continues to be obsessed with the newest spots and you probably won’t know a thing about the neighborhoods you once swore by. Reminding yourself of this might frighten you, which is why it is best to learn to let go rather than torture yourself. If you’ve lived in New York long enough, you’ve come to understand that it lets you go. It doesn’t fight for you, it just lets you go.The city knows better than to play that game.
When you leave, most of the time, we New Yorkers, are too busy to mourn. Some of us move around the city, the changes shift the areas we had once marked as comfort zones. A new brunch spot usually helps soften the blow, but a new crowd of friends is better. Though we miss you, we know the show must go on. New York slowly teaches us to let go as it’s pace becomes our own.
In talking to Stanford Curl, we admitted that the beauty of it all is that no matter when you decide to come back, it takes very little to fall back into things. Like an old flame, if things work out and you can come back, you figure things out quickly. Having lived here & having understood the city’s ways is something that stays with you forever. So, don’t stress too much. If you want to leave New York, I think it’s time for you to go. Much like a cab ride love, the city’s purpose for some of us is just a ride to our next stop, but once we get there, … it’s time to get off. Only a few will roam these streets forever. Only a few are addicted to the endless beat that is the city.
I often wonder if I’ll be here forever. Am I addicted to the beat? We’ll see. Pens in bag, camera around neck, and bursting at the chest…. I’m off to the West Coast, kids.
NY, I will miss you, but we need this time apart. Can we survive anything? I think so, but we’ll see.
Je t’aime, Tone
PS. Do me a favor? Travel with me this weekend. You’ll know how. Go somewhere you haven’t been. Real or make believe. I’ll see you on the other side!