I spent a few months trudging passionately through the muddy waters of “self-improvement”. In April, I upped the ante- ok, so I went a little crazy. Towards the end, I made a list of all the things I’d been working on. It was 1.5 pages long. Needless to say, I burned out by the end of April showers. As the summer began to kick in, I knew that I needed to stop and regroup. I took some time “off” in May to chill out. I have enjoyed a vacay from worrying, discipline, and the whites & blacks of life. I have lived in the shady gray for a bit and it’s been nice.
Looking back, I’m extremely proud of myself for working so hard at the changes I wanted to make. I didn’t ace all of them, but I was aware of my goals every day and I stuck to moving forward. May provided some much needed rest. My type-A personality passed out in the living room couch while some hippie took over. I think they slipped me something in San Fran. You think? Anyway, I put all my projects on hold and narrowed it down to 2. Since then, I’ve been focusing on work and one project at home.
I’ve moved away from the mania-like schedule that I thought I was addicted to. I’ve learned quite a bit from experiencing the change between the two attitudes and I come bearing gifts. I want this summer to be about balance for me. We can’t be perfect, but we can learn to find balance in all we do. So, I married the madness of April and R&R of May in hopes of narrowing points for this summer. Below are the June kids:
Scheduling + No Expectations: Schedule, then let go.
I learned to schedule the small things that I wanted to do. Giving it a place on the calendar held me accountable to my commitments. If I couldn’t do it, I had to learn to stop putting it on my calendar. In May, I refused to book anything on some nights. I marked them off as busy. I needed time to do something spontaneous. Even if spontaneous meant staying in bed all night watching movies and doing my nails. Over time, you learn to anticipate your what you’ll need and when. You could even put a word on your calendar for the day, see where it takes you. After the month has passed and you look back on your calendar, you’ll realize how capable you are of enjoying your time. You’ll get better at this as time goes on.
The madness of April gave me very little time to think. I would plan and let go. I was too busy to worry about expectations. I was happy to learn that in May, this habit had stuck with me. Despite not being busy, my new hippie ways reinforced the “let go” lesson and every experience that I have let be has just been. I often catch myself on the dreamiest walks around the city, dressed like I’m on a movie set, and having a deep conversation with a friend. How did this happen? is thought that follows. It happened because I let it, because I got out of the way. Sometimes the universe has better plans than you, dearest.So, plan and let go.
Sleep with yourself.
I function better when I am rested. I am less anxious and I’m in a better mood, for whatever comes my way. Guess what? So do you! Genius, right? NASA should be at my door. I know some of you want to conquer the world, but I promise you, you will do a shity job on 5 hours of sleep. If you aren’t going to eat healthy, workout, or meditate, for the love of chocolate,… SLEEP!
Learn to Drool.
Marvel at people, marvel at things, marvel at having found something, marvel at having being brilliant enough to have planned it, marvel at not having anticipated at all. Learn to marvel at things. Whether they work out or not, everything we put effort into takes a life of its own and it’s worth enjoying.
Call Your Bluff.
Purchase the record player; stop ordering $30 dinners on a Tuesday. Jump in the water; stop obsessing about the temperature. Try; stop thinking about trying. Find a way to do the things you want to do. I know little girls that jump in the water faster than you. Do it already.
Call your bluff this summer, it’ll be the only cocktail you’ll need. Scouts honor.
(Oh, and, I never belonged to Girl Scouts.)