go for the gold

I try to be very open about what inspires me. Perhaps, it took me so long to voice it that I hope that you, the reader, will learn to listen to the all the content that can inspire you in your life and do the same. I am no wiser than you. I feel lost, I make mistakes, and I sometimes process things incorrectly. I have troubles at work, in life, and in love. I am not perfect, but I have come to accept this and it no longer paralyzes me as it once did.

Jonathan Safran Foer once wrote: “Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.” When I read this quote, it took me back to a time when I knew there was more, but didn’t have an inkling to what that “more” was. I was only familiar with the side of me I didn’t like. Yes, I was curious, but for a long time I was not ready to discover where that very curiosity would lead. Again, I am no wiser than you, but now, I may be more open to the lives that I am not living; to the inevitable faults that some are afraid of accepting, to the pains of change and growth. I may mention these often, but I do this as a reminder that they are present in everything we do. I acknowledge them and set them aside instead of pretending they do not exist.

Many of us are unhappy in our lives. I find it to be an ongoing discussion with many of the people in my age bracket. Few of us have experienced the hardships that our parents did: revolutions, civil wars, world wars, segregation, communism, etc. Our burden may very well be having too many choices in where we are headed. Perhaps, an array of choices allows for complacency. Instead of focusing on happiness, we may come to consider safety, pleasure, or the ego instead. The more choices we have, the harder it may seem to locate happiness. In my opinion, our generation may not understand happiness, let alone identify it’s location. We confuse it with other ideals because most of us do not associate happiness with a state of feeling or being. To many of us, happiness is a sensation one feels when we get something. If you want to go to the root— forget happiness, I think that our generation does not understand feelings in general.

When was the last time you sat down to feel? The last time you accepted a feeling instead of being frustrated and trying to extinguish it. As triste as it sounds, when did you do it last? How long has it been since you’ve been parading around your life not acknowledge how this or that made you feel? Life is about feeling, but for some reason many of us are trying to make a life about never feeling anything. Imagine that.

 

What you feel today will most likely fuel your behavior today and tomorrow, possibly even a month from now. Don’t you think it essential to at least give it a second or a few minutes of thought? How can we go about life driving around with blindfolds on? It’s no wonder that we bump into things and then wonder where they came from. It’s no wonder we’re unhappy.

Take some time to think about the life you are living. What motivated you to go down this path? Do you feel happy? peaceful? If there is a fork in the road a few miles ahead, how would you like to begin to prepare yourself for it?

 

I know that feeling is cliche, but what are we doing? It doesn’t matter if you’re a tough banker, a con artist, or an atheist. There are some undeniable truths. We all carry a heart. We have all felt lost. We have all accomplished something and wanted to pick up the phone to tell someone about it. We all have something to offer someone else. At some point, there has been someone that has made our heart race. We all hope. We are all let down. We all fear (even if some of us are just adamant about hiding it.) I think it’s safe to say that we all want a love story with ourselves, but some of us are unaware that it’s possible. Even if you’re in denial, we’re all romantics in the end. That’s proof enough that feelings are inevitable and that they matter.

It’s said that some people feel the rain, while others just get wet. At the end of the road, will you be able to say that you felt life or was it just something that got on your clothes?

Go. Feel something. Feel today. I dare you. Despite what you may think, the boogie man will not come after you for trying this. Oh, and when you sit down, if you’re blank… you’re on to something, my friend. That’s where the gold is.

Tone 

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About Antonella Saravia

Antonella is a freelance writer. Graduated from Purdue University, Antonella is based out of New York City and Nicaragua, where she was raised. Follow her via Twitter @tonesaravia & Instagram via @tsaravia.

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