the hitchhiker’s guide to being single

Watch relationships around you. Carefully pin point all the things you swear you won’t do, because you’ll know better… whenever it comes down to it. I doubt you’ll remember all the things you swore not to do, but here’s to hoping. 

Make a list of things you want to do in the upcoming months. Stupid things like sword fighting classes or salsa dancing. But do silly things. Spread it out with random people, learn to not associate the magic with one person, but with yourself. Also, get comfortable with different people and different situations. The box that is your life is not as tight as you think. Learn to make them your memories, your stories, instead of your couple-self. Give yourself a series of stories that only you can tell together. In time, you’ll learn to cherry pick the things and people that work the best.

If you don’t want to go out, don’t. But go out when a friend insists. Being single in your late 20s is like being in high school,… I can’t explain it, but you’re in this together. They are the ones that get you through things. Maybe drunk, maybe cracking up, but they are there. They’ll understand your lows and your highs. You need someone to talk to, so will they. You need someone to remind you that this sh*t is still fun. Because dude, this can be a blast, if you let it.

Don’t wait for someone to inspire you. Learn to inspire yourself. If you’re watching a movie and something sounded interesting. Google it, buy the book— follow the thought. The more you let that unravel, the more you learn to let go. Somehow at the end of all the strings, we’re lucky enough to discover ourselves.

There are some nights that despite all your efforts, you won’t find someone to talk to on your night out, you won’t find a friend to have dinner with when you’re wide open, and for some reason, no one answers your calls. It happens. I used to think it was the universe’s way of saying “Yes, you are a loser,” but it’s not, it’s the universe’s way of saying, “Don’t be a brat. Figure it out. This doesn’t mean anything.” On those nights, learn to be your own date. Open a bottle or buy some popcorn and chocolate, rent a movie, and have the best date of your life. My aunt once told me, “If you can’t have fun alone, you’ll rarely have fun in a crowd.” Figure it out, make it fun. Build a f*cking tent in your house and get high on Netflix until the sun comes out. Whatever it is, you’ll have your own way of enjoying it. They may not be many, but these nights are the heaviest. You’ll learn the most on these nights. It’s kind of like that breaking point in a jog, if you push past it and ignore the discomfort, you’re moments away from the runner’s high. So, stick it out.

In the end, we all have a different way of being single. In that understanding lies a magic of  how we make and keep ourselves happy. We need to figure that out so that eventually, when that time comes, we’ll understand that we also have our own way of being with someone else, but first things first.

See you on the other side, kids. 

Tone

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About Antonella Saravia

Antonella is a freelance writer. Graduated from Purdue University, Antonella is based out of New York City and Nicaragua, where she was raised. Follow her via Twitter @tonesaravia & Instagram via @tsaravia.

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