year in review: #1 you, doing that thing you do

Whether you had a physical or mental vacation, it’s time to go back. Whether your feet were buried in the snow, the sand, or deep in the love seat of the tv room for the holidays, it’s time to pull them out. Sucks, I know, but if it makes you feel any better, we’re all feeling the drag. 

I took some time off for the holidays. One can only hope that you noticed,  but if not, I have to make sure the writing gets better so you do next time. While I was out, I did a lot of thinking. Having moved to a new country has been difficult, but I knew that the holiday festivities would be a good distraction. Maybe not for growth, but possibly for the chaos that comes before it. I did everything that usually makes me anxious, and this might sound crazy, but I tried to do it in a certain degree of balance. I wanted to figure out a way to balance out my anxieties without worrying so much. As the weeks passed, I managed to take notes on my concerns and the clarity that usually comes after the hangover passes. 

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And with that, I hope to begin sharing them with you…

#1 The Law of Attraction

First, the bad news…

Looking back on the last year, it seems that I have a little bit of genius for always getting caught up in the same situations. I slowly began to grasp that I have a natural instinct of positioning myself in very specific scenarios. We each have a different stage that we like to perform on; it can be professional, social, or even romantic, but one way or another, it always seems to appear. We seem to think we’re wandering aimlessly and then—BAM, there is it.

Am I a genius? How do I create this scenario over and over again? 

If you find a pattern in your life, the only thing I can tell you is that you aren’t fabricating it—trust me, you’re not that good. However, you are naturally gravitating towards it. It’s an instinct that you have; there is a hidden want there. It’s like the animal that sniffs out their prey. You’re just attracted to it and you get closer to it without realizing it.

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What I’m trying to say is that some of us are naturally gravitating towards the problems that we have. The only way to change that is by finding the root. We stick to the bad suitors, the crappy jobs, and the frustrating habits for a reason. Yes, sometimes it happens at random, but after a second or third time, it really requires some reflection. Sometimes we think we don’t deserve better and other times, we just assume that’s the way things are and will always be.

Now, for some good news…

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Last year, I made an effort to pursue the arts. I exposed myself artistically & emotionally. I shared, shamelessly. In a previous post, I wrote about how the arts and an understanding of these emotions found their way back to me. How in my own pursuit of art and venting my emotional baggage, the world of literature, photography, and creation had slowly begun to reciprocate the attraction. As I began to evaluate the things I had unknowingly attracted for myself, among the bad, I found a lot of good. After years of weird relationships, I really found myself surrounded with amazing connections, I had found myself in a loving circle that taught me how to shine and in awe, I naturally rejoiced in helping them do the same. I had the courage to let go of things that no longer fit in my life, and I did it as peacefully as I could. I had managed to somehow become so fed up with my past attractions that I applied a new part of myself and it began to show.

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There is such a thing in getting your cake and eating it, too. Figuring out what good things you attracted this past year will help you understand that attitude that needs to be applied to other areas of your life, where there may not be as much clarity or light. You know how to do this, kid, you just have to figure out where to begin to apply it.

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As I said before, the only way to change is by acknowledging the pattern and figuring out what subconscious drive is sniffing out these situations. If you want this year to be different, maybe you should start figuring out what you are attracting and then why. Make sure to give yourself the option to accept or reject things instead of assuming that’s the way things are.

Make sure that what you are pulling in is actually something that you want; something that at least has the potential to make you happy.

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If you’re going to change anything this year, at least lose or fail at things that have the potential to make you happy; instead of just always setting ourselves up for the very inevitable sabotage that we are so comfortably enduring over and over again.

Being attracted to things is not a choice. I get that—but sometimes when we uncover the reasons under a particular attraction, it seems to lose it’s “meant for me” charm as its nasty intention surfaces.

Each year, we have a choice to change things; whether it’s in the beginning, the middle, or the end, but a few things are undeniable: this year you will be older, this year you will miss opportunities, and this year you will take on challenges, whether you chose them or not. Like death and taxes, all these are pretty much guaranteed, so what’s the use in waiting? If you’re going to have issues next year, don’t you want to make sure they are new ones? I’m tired of these old ones, give me something fresh. First-time mistakes are much more fun, wouldn’t you agree? 

To be continued… #2 

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About Antonella Saravia

Antonella is a freelance writer. Graduated from Purdue University, Antonella is based out of New York City and Nicaragua, where she was raised. Follow her via Twitter @tonesaravia & Instagram via @tsaravia.

2 comments

  1. Nice reflection. Looking forward to part two.

    – K.

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